I did not win the Powerball lotto.

I’ve been foiled once again by the lotto gods. I didn’t win last night’s Powerball lotto, which meant I still had to come into work this morning. Oh, how nice it would have been to sleep in today, fix my air conditioner and mosey on down to the Texas Lottery office and claim my winnings.

What a great day that would have made!

Instead, I’m sitting here thinking about what I would do if I win later this weekend. How great would it be to win some ridiculous amount of money? Someone in my office said they would still work for the District if they won the jackpot. I looked at her and told her she was crazy. I’d be out of there in a heartbeat: come in during the night, clean out my office and leave my letter of resignation with my keys.

Done, I’m out, peace!

I’ve actually spent a lot of time thinking about this for no other reason than it’s a fun thing to think about and it’s always interesting to hear what other people would do if they won. In fact, I’ve made a “to-do” list of what I would do if I won.

1. Probably freak out at the fact that I did win. This might include hyperventilating, screaming out loud and running around the house looking for my phone because I would have to call someone to make sure I wasn’t crazy or misread the numbers. (This has happened in the past with a scratch-off when I thought I won a million dollars. I was ::this close:: to quitting when I double checked and noticed there wasn’t a little “present” next to the number. Stupid graphic.)

2. Upon finding my phone, I’d have to make a call to my girlfriend, my parents and my brothers. The conversation would probably start with “Hey, you’re never going to have to pay for your house/bills/college.” After hearing screaming and yelling from them, I’d return the phone to my ear and tell them I’d be in touch. Nothing would make me feel better than taking care of them for everything they’ve done for me.

3. Hire a lawyer, accountant and an investment firm. If I have a lot of money, I want to make sure it’s taken care of properly and by people I can trust. I may have to become friends with some other rich people to see how they stay rich and how they protect their money.

ND grads, get your resume together. I’m looking at you for this.

4. Claim my money and pay the taxes. I don’t need to government chasing after me for something I forgot. Here’s your money, go fix some stuff like education funding!

5. Depending on the amount won and after bills were paid, I would separate 2 million dollars and tab that as play money. This would account for vacations, buying a car, a house with a yard big enough to have a pool and to throw a baseball, etc. It would be all the fun stuff I’d want to do.

Maybe I’d get a house with a ballpark in the back yard ala Field of Dreams. That would be cool.

6. Set up a college fund for my son. I figure by the time he is old enough to go to Notre Dame (yes, that’s where he will be going because I’ve already decided), it’s probably going to cost $200,000 a year. I think a million should cover tuition, room and board and football tickets.

7. See if my ex would take a one-time buy out on child support. This might be a stretch but I’d be willing to calculate the future value of what I’m supposed to pay, toss in some extra money and call it a day. Writing checks every month is a pain in the ass, I’m amazed I haven’t forgotten to write one yet. Actually, no I’m not. I don’t want to be a deadbeat dad and go to jail. My son is too important to forget that. And I don’t want to go to pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

8. Donate to some worthy causes. This always fluctuates a bit as this is largely dependent on what I feel is important at the time. I know I’d donate to Notre Dame, but it would probably be a directed gift for my dorm, the Julian Samora Scholarship or an endowed chair. I’m not 100% sure yet. I’d probably donate some money to some other ND scholarships and then I’d have to think about what else.

I’d like to say I’d donate to UTEP but I don’t know where my money would go. I think I’d finally have athletics create the Glory Road Practice Field Media Structure just so my buddy Bret Bloomquist could finally sit in the shade and have some cold beverages during football practice. Knowing UTEP, this would probably end up being a table and umbrella from Lowes and it would cost me a million dollars.

9. Make a movie. I don’t know why, but I like the idea of producing an independent movie. Hopefully it would be a good one that does well at a movie festival like Sundance or Tribeca and I can make a lot of money from it. It just sounds cool.

10. Live off my investments. Nothing sounds better than the notion of never having to work. I’d want to have the remaining of the money invested so it grows so I don’t have to worry about working again. If I do work, it’s going to be at something I enjoy and that won’t feel like work.

I guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens this weekend with the next drawing of the Powerball to see if I kick-start this plan.